When Doctors Don't Believe You: Gaslighting and Endometriosis

I need you to sit with this for a moment. Imagine you are in agonizing pain. Pain that makes you double over, that makes you cry, that makes it impossible to function. You finally gather the courage to go to a doctor — someone you're supposed to TRUST with your health and your life. And that doctor looks you in the eye and says: "You're making yourself sick."

That happened to me. Those exact words. And I will NEVER forget how it made me feel.

What Is Endometriosis Gaslighting?

Endometriosis gaslighting is when medical professionals dismiss, minimize, or invalidate your pain and symptoms. It's when they make you feel like you're exaggerating, being dramatic, or — worst of all — that it's somehow YOUR fault. And it happens to women with Endometriosis at alarming rates.

How would you feel if you told a doctor that you were bleeding so heavily you could barely stand, and they told you it was just a "bad period"? How would you feel if you described pain so severe you couldn't attend school, and they prescribed you ibuprofen and sent you home? How would you feel if, after YEARS of suffering, a medical professional suggested you were making it all up?

I can tell you exactly how it feels. It feels like the ground disappears beneath your feet. It makes you question your own reality. Am I really in that much pain? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Maybe they're right — maybe it IS all in my head.

That's what gaslighting does. It makes YOU doubt yourself instead of making the doctor do their job.

My Story of Endometriosis Gaslighting

Growing up in St. Croix, USVI, access to specialists wasn't exactly easy. But even when I got to doctors who were supposed to help, many of them didn't. I spent years — YEARS — going from one provider to another, desperately trying to find someone who would take my symptoms seriously.

One doctor told me I was "making myself sick." I still get angry thinking about it. How is that even medically possible? I had endometrial tissue growing outside my uterus, causing inflammation, adhesions, and damage to my organs. But somehow I was doing this to MYSELF?

Another doctor told me the pain was just bad cramps and that I needed to learn how to manage my stress better. Stress? I was stressed because I was IN PAIN and nobody was helping me! It was a cruel cycle — the disease caused the distress, and the distress was used as an excuse to not treat the disease.

By the time I was finally diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis in 2011, after more than a decade of symptoms, the disease had progressed significantly. I've now had over 8 surgeries. I can't help but wonder: if someone had believed me sooner, if someone had actually LISTENED, would things have been different? Would I have needed that many surgeries? Would the damage have been less severe?

Fighting Back Against Endometriosis Gaslighting

I want every woman reading this to hear me clearly: Your pain is real. Your symptoms are real. You are NOT making it up.

Medical gaslighting is not a reflection of you — it's a reflection of a healthcare system that still doesn't take women's pain seriously. Studies show that women's pain is consistently undertreated and dismissed compared to men's, and for women of color, the disparities are even worse.

Here's what I want you to do if you're being gaslit by a doctor:

• Trust yourself. You know your body. If something feels wrong, it IS wrong.
• Document everything. Keep a detailed record of your symptoms, pain levels, and what each doctor has said. This creates a paper trail that's hard to ignore.
• Get a second opinion. And a third, and a fourth if you need to. Not every doctor will dismiss you — there ARE good ones out there.
• Seek out an Endometriosis specialist. General practitioners and even some gynecologists don't have adequate training in this disease. Find someone who specializes in it.
• Bring an advocate. Sometimes having another person in the room — a friend, a family member, a partner — can change the dynamic entirely.

I refused to accept that I was "making myself sick." I kept pushing, kept demanding answers, and eventually I found doctors who listened. It shouldn't have been that hard. But I'm glad I didn't give up, and I don't want YOU to give up either.

Don't let Endometriosis win — and don't let anyone tell you your pain isn't real!!! Join our community at My Endo Talks — because here, we ALWAYS believe you.